Tuesday, September 13, 2011

How do you cope?

As I shared awhile back, I recently lost someone very deat to me, my grandmother. I have only lost one other person close to me and that was my grandfather. I have to admit that while I loved my grandfather dearly, this time...it feels much different. I am really trying to be strong...and move on...but my heart...my soul...I...hurt...so bad. I am usually ok during the day....it's the nights that are hardest. I loved my grandmother so so so much. For most of my life, I thought I had two mothers.... I knew my mom was my mom...but I thought I was just blessed with two. Well... I was. I even called her momma. She told me a long long time ago...that I was her favorite...and I am sure she told all of us that...but I still believed her. I am trying to move on...to be strong...to act like nothing is wrong but this hurts like HELL and there is nothing i can do. I have developed a little routine...I get thru the day... early evening...get home... and as the day comes to an end...I am faced with the reality that she is...GONE...forever. How can I make the pain stop? The only time it feels slightly better is when I am sleeping.... but other than that...I hurt. So... BAD.

Does anyone have ANYTHING to tell me to make this easier. I truly truly feel like I am losing my damn mind.

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